Hope that you all are well & rested on this fine day,
So as you all know, I’m a first time mommy, meaning I was once the biggest know it all, that is up until I too became a mommy. To those wondering what exactly I’m on about, I was that friend of yours who never had kids but gave you all the advice in the world under the justification that I had siblings so I knew better.
BOY was I wrong!
Everything I thought I knew about being a mommy was a complete, total and utter lie. A lie which I happily observed throughout my pregnancy all the way up until I had my lil cupcake by emergency caesarean section after 15 hours of labour, the reality of it all only set in on the way home from the hospital.
As I carried my lil cupcake to the car, thinking I had it all sorted, I had done the research, read all the books, subscribed to every ‘Mommy & Me’ website, yammering on to all my friends who were already parents on what they weren’t doing right, yep, I was a total know it all. Until I looked at my lil cupcakes face, all snug in my arms, no breastfeeding nurse to help me when he was struggling to latch, no matron to help take care of him so I could enjoy a shower, no nurse checking up on me to see if I was comfy and no night nurse to take care of him so I could get some rest.
It was at that moment that I realized that I knew absolutely nothing,and I panicked. The first few days of being home with cupcake I had a definite case of baby blues, that one night I just grabbed hubbys arms and completely bawled my eyes out at the sheer overwhelming wave of emotions that I was feeling at having to take care of someone so precious.
Now for those who know me, I am a stubborn mule, challenges excite me and I cannot get enough of being able to rise up to said challenge; however Motherhood was something totally different. This was one challenge that had me at my knees, there was no manual, no textbook to guide me, hell, half the people who I spent my entire pregnancy confiding in for support had their own kids to see to, so it was just cupcake, Superman and I.
My eyes were so dilated at one stage that I looked like a firebreathing dragon ready to smoke anyone out who came near Cupcake. The raw emotions that came pouring out of me is something that is so unbelievably overwhelming and amazing, that it can only truly be explained as the beauty of a mothers love. Pure, untainted love that is so magical, that it will make you feel like you are going to explode.
At that moment I wondered why none of my friends didn’t slap me when I was a know it all, why they didn’t tell me that I was wrong? But I realized that they couldn’t, to truly understand what it felt like to be a mom I had to experience it firsthand.
So this is me saying thank you to those mommys, thank you for allowing me to be a silly know it all, as it has made me appreciate the magnanimity of motherhood. I now know the true feeling of having a piece of your heart walk outside your baby, and an even greater appreciation for my mommy who I definitely owe so much thanks to.
This is my humble note to all those expectant mommys, Motherhood is amazing, there are times when you are going to be completely clueless, actually, there are going to be countless times that you are going to be clueless, but keep trying, use the support from other mommys because even though you don’t want to admit it, they know how you feel, we all ‘mother’ differently, but ultimately, we all have the same goal in play, to raise amazing kids with our super mommy powers.
With Love & Peace,