There’s a really big day coming up, well not really that big, since according to Superman, the kids will make me something so that should be enough *he’s a buzzkill I know* which day am I talking about? Mother’s Day of course!
Every year though it seems like the few days leading up to it then I completely lose my handle on things. Take this morning for instance, Cupcake woke up and was in the most “I don’t wantest” mood ever, yeah that isn’t a word but that is the best way to describe it. Within a few moments of opening his eyes he was freaking out that I had put his jacket on and was trying to rip it off his body, then he didn’t want shoes, didn’t want a jacket, didn’t want to brush his teeth, didn’t want school, you catching my drift here? Throw in some tired parents and things get a bit warbly, oh, did I forget to mention that Dumpling woke up sopping wet but so happy?
As I was already running late I picked Cupcake up, told him that he better brush his teeth, and that he will get his butt in the car and get to school whether he has a jacket on or not, and if he gets cold then he has to deal because he is choosing to do so. *Not my best momming moment* Bear in mind that he is shrieking like a banshee the entire time, you know the type of cry that makes you want to shove pencils in your ears? That cry. Add to that Dumpling crying as I leave the house.
As we in the car, stuck in the nightmare that is Cape Town traffic which seems to match my exact disaster of a morning, tears streaming down my face, everything goes silent, Cupcake staring out the window, I feel like a failure, as we finally get to school I park and ask Cupcake to sit on the front seat with me.
He slowly slinks forward and we chat, I ask him why he’s freaking out, I ask him what’s bothering him, I explain to him that we done fighting, that the weather is really cold and he will get sick if he is not warmly dressed. He relents and lets me put his jacket and shoes on, rushes into school, gives me a hug and off I go.
Fast forward to school pick up, he hands me the cutest little pot plant that he made for Mother’s Day and my heart sings, his little face so happy, as we get home Dumpling is so happy to see me, the tired literally draining from my being, but I need to get back to work, they don’t understand this, so they stand at the window crying as I pull my car out the driveway and the tired creeps in slowly like an old friend.
See, this is why I question if I deserve to celebrate Mother’s Day, I know I don’t completely suck as a mom, but their are moments like this, when I am completely emotionally and mentally tapped out that I feel ‘unworthy’.
As I write this I see a video of my boys giggling and having fun and this restores my faith, they may push me to the brink of insanity, but they will always pull me back with a kiss.
Have an awesome Mothers Day ladies!
Always with Love & Peace