Hope that you all are doing fantastic, I had a bit of a crap start to my week, but! As I said yesterday, I just need to get up, wipe the dirt off my face and keep going because such is life.
With Cupcake being the ripe age of 2, I have surely had my fair share of mommy judgement and copious amounts of unsolicited advise/ opinions given to me. That being from a place of caring or from someone who just NEEDED to show me how wrong I was. Especially when it came to those beautiful moments of a baby’s life known as milestones! Ah, we all know it, the first smile, the first tooth, as a first time mom I documented them all and even had a big wall chart up in Cupcakes bedroom, needless to say that chart is now decomposing on a dump somewhere.
Here’s why! When I was pregnant with Cupcake, it was myself and a few other family members and friends, it was awesome! As the parents, we are always encouraging each others children and try our best to ensure that they bring out the best in each other. Up until today we all always have an amazing time when our kids are together, that is until “others” start the infamous comparison topic.
Then the questions start: “So when did he start crawling?” But x’s baby started crawling sooner, is something wrong with him?” or “oh but look how lovely he talks, why isn’t your little one talking, I think he needs therapy because my kid started talking at 6 months….” and on and on and on……
And even though as a parent, You know there is nothing wrong with your child, it does bother you incessantly because there is the “what if?” question that looms over you. “What if my child never speaks properly?” “What if my child never walks properly?” Which then brings us to the “What am I doing wrong to affect my childs development?”
My thoughts always revert to being a working mom because I was guilted quite heavily when I decided to return to work after having Cupcake, as if me leaving my child in anothers care was the reason why he maybe took a bit longer to reach a milestone. The most significant incident was when he was not yet walking by age 1, to me it was fine, but to some it was a huge issue because others who were his age were already walking. I felt terrible as a parent, I felt like I was failing as a parent, and then about a week after he turned a year, Cupcake was full on running *face-palm* it was at that point that I tore down the chart and said screw it, children develop differently.
I have even gone so far as to just walking away when family start to compare the little ones, and yes, its seen as being terribly nasty, but at the end of the day, children need to grow up and develop at their own pace. Some may take longer than others, some may reach all their milestones spot on, others ahead of time, but it doesn’t deem any child superior over the next. Growing up is not a competition, if that were the case then I would like a refund because adulting is no picnic.
No child is textbook, that is what makes their growth so amazing, and that is what makes great adults. By being positive about their development and never allowing them to feel inferior if they aren’t as advanced as others, or even if they are just average. Ain’t nothing wrong with being average, because with some positive motivation and encouragement, we can raise children with confidence about themselves, and not just concern over how others perceive their skills to be.
Always with Love & Peace,