Hope that you all are well,
According to society, I am a short, petite, pear shaped woman. According to those I shared my schooling career with (primary school through to university) I was fat, skinny, acne-crusted, large-calved, big-butted, fat-headed, four-eyed, flat-chested troll. Ah, my fellow classmates were such an ocean of ideas and contradictions.
Needless to say the bounty of descriptions I was made aware of also overflowed during my pregnancy, but more into that later.
Growing up I clearly did not have the most self-confidence, my self-esteem was practically non-existent for the first portion of my life. Not to say that I wasn’t raised to not think any of these things, but seriously, how many of us take our parents seriously from the start of puberty throughout high school?
Yep, kids were cruel and on the flipside of things it really did help me to grow quite a tough skin, along with a sharp sarcastic tongue, bully’s aren’t too eager to face someone who doesn’t really care for what they have to say. Learnt that lesson on university, ha! Who knew.
That being said I never allowed my esteem issues to stop me from achieving anything in life, I am still ridiculously shy, however I never let the inside me stop the outside me. In private I was constantly focusing on the flaws of my body and never celebrating it. Ultimately resulting in a horrible fashion sense because I never felt confident enough to pull any looks off.
Fast forward to my pregnancy, thinking that people have atleast some bit of decorum when it came to pregnant women I was ,alas, horribly mistaken. According to onlookers I was a lil elephant and a round soccer ball, they really put so much thought into that last one. Note how I am only mentioning the negative comments? That’s because to me that is all I acknowledged, I became so accustomed to the negative that I never even saw the positive. Thinking back I had so many beautiful comments instead which I just failed to notice and that was my biggest flaw.
Many women seem to have body image issues after their pregnancy, however, it was my pregnancy which flipped my confidence on its head. I went from noticing all the flaws, to celebrating every one of them. Why the sudden change you say? Because I realized how awesome my body was!
My body created life! If ever I could have a badass super power then that would be it. Stretchmarks? More like amazing tiger stripes to prove that a living, breathing human grew inside my body. Flat chested? More like bags of liquid gold fending off all the nasty germs that no medical laboratory could ever recreate.
I may not be socially ideal, but I now see that my body is strong in ways that many cannot aspire to. Not everyone is gifted with the ability to conceive nor breastfeed, but I could, and that has humbled me to be so completely and utterly grateful for every breath that this amazing body of mine is able to take.
And to those who don’t agree? Well that’s your problem.
With love & peace.