Blessed Jumuah Mubarak to you all, and a blessed weekend as well! With my guest post out on South African Mom Blogs, I have eagerly been waiting to post this article, more so because it’s a bit of rant and a bit more of me being me hehe… So here goes, my list of things NOT to say to a pregnant woman, especially to one on her second pregnancy.
1.) Wow, but you carrying big/ small/ high/ low….(or any other reference to her size)
We all know pregnancy changes our bodies, sometimes we get bigger, sometimes we get wider-er than normal, but as with anybody, do you truly want to comment on the size of a hormonal pregnant woman who could more than likely knock you out? Nope? Figured as much. I found that now that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy journey, many male strangers feel the need to point out my size, please stop. I already feel huge, so to have strangers constantly feel the need to comment makes me want to punch someone in the throat (yes, one day a group of women congregated around one computer to talk about my size, this was made obvious by the pointing and hand gestures).
2.) You look tired.
Well durh! My body is in the process of making another human being. so please pardon the panda look that I currently have going. Not to mention the fact that I no longer have the luxury of doing absolutely nothing as with my first pregnancy as my toddler keeps me on my toes. Not that I’m complaining, Cupcake is definitely keeping me fit.
3.) You going to have your baby any day now hey! I can see by the way his laying/ the way you walking/ etc
So my biggest peeve with this comment is that throughout my entire pregnancy, Dumpling has been laying really low, and according to my experienced gynae, he ain’t going nowehere, so please stop.
4.) You definitely carrying a girl because of the shape of your bum/ the point of your tummy/etc.
I love me some old wives tales, but it gets a bit ridiculous when I need to argue the gender of the baby whose scan CLEARLY shows that he has twigs and berries.
5.) Aren’t you disappointed that it’s not a girl?
In my opinion, I just want my baby to be healthy, and I think that this comment scratches a bit of a sore spot as my miscarriage was with a little girl. Hence when the comment comes from those in my family, I find myself often just walking away.
6.) Were you not trying for a girl?
Awkward! So unfortunately, no matter how old I get, discussing sex with older folk doesn’t get any easier. So when I hear this question, I straddle (no pun intended) between feeling queasy and wanting to run away just considering that there was something in particular that had to happen in order for us to have a girl. Just to provide an answer, we rolled the dice and hey! Another boy! No trying involved.
7.) Retell a horror pregnancy/ childbirth story
I don’t know why the sight of a pregnant woman makes people want to share horror stories, I have had to hear the most terrible stories from random strangers that has made me decide to avoid most family events or going outside in general, just to save my sanity. I know you tempted, but don’t do it.
8.) You really popping the children out quickly hey!
Honestly don’t understand this one, if you wait too long, it’s an issue, have kids too close apart, it’s an issue….THERE’S JUST NO WINNING!
9.) You have another baby coming, you should stop giving your firstborn so much attention.
Here’s my issue with this one, having a second child doesn’t automatically replace my first child. Yes, Dumpling will require more attention but that doesn’t cause a stop on my affection for my first born, nor does it make him completely independent of needing support from me in any form.
10.) Don’t worry, the next one will be a girl.
Aaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To this I will just bang my head silently against a proverbial wall *bang, bang*
Lol, have an awesome weekend everyone!
Always with Love & Peace